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The current year represents a full decade since the phrase “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a lover without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. We were so innocent. In the decade since, seeking a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral traits signaling a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks validate your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {